How to Talk to Your Barber: A Complete Guide

Feb 9

You know the feeling. You sit down in the chair, the cape goes on, and your barber asks, "So what are we doing today?" Suddenly your mind goes blank. You had a vision. You knew what you wanted. But now you're staring at yourself in the mirror fumbling for words, and the best you can manage is, "Uh... just clean it up."

Here's the thing: you are not alone. Communication is the number one reason guys feel anxious about going to the barbershop. Not the cut itself. Not the price. Just not knowing what to say.

But a haircut is not an order you place at a counter. It is a collaboration. Your barber is a trained professional who genuinely wants to understand what you are going for — and they have the skills to get you there. You just have to meet them halfway.

This guide breaks down exactly how to do that. Before the appointment, during the consultation, and while you are in the chair. By the end, talking to your barber will feel as natural as catching up with an old friend.

Before Your Appointment

The best haircuts start before you ever walk through the door. A little prep goes a long way, and it does not have to be complicated.

Gather Reference Photos

Pull up 2-3 photos of haircuts you like. Instagram, Pinterest, Google — it does not matter where. What matters is having something visual to show your barber instead of relying only on words.

Words are subjective. "Short on the sides" means something different to everyone. But a photo? That is a shared starting point.

A few tips on choosing good reference photos:

Find multiple angles. A front-facing photo is helpful, but a side or back view tells your barber even more about what you are after.
Look for hair similar to yours. A photo of a guy with thick, straight hair might not translate perfectly if you have fine or curly hair. Your barber can absolutely adapt, but realistic references make the conversation smoother.
Save photos of what you DON'T want, too. Sometimes it is easier to say "definitely not this" than to describe what you do want. That is perfectly valid and incredibly useful for your barber.

Evaluate Your Current Cut

Before your appointment, take a minute to look at your current haircut honestly. Ask yourself:

What do I like about it right now?
What is not working?
Where does it grow out weird or lose its shape first?
How long has it been since my last cut?

This kind of self-awareness gives your barber real information to work with. "I like the length on top but the sides get puffy after two weeks" is ten times more useful than "just make it look good."

Think About Your Lifestyle

Your barber needs to know how you actually live, not just how you want to look in a photo. Be honest with yourself about:

How much time do you spend styling? If the answer is "zero" or "I towel-dry and go," tell your barber. They will steer you toward a cut that works with minimal effort.
What is your work environment? A creative agency and a corporate law firm have different expectations. Your barber can find the sweet spot.
How active are you? If you are in the gym every day or wearing a hard hat on a job site, that matters.

The more context your barber has, the better the result.

What to Bring

You do not need a presentation. But walking in with a few things ready makes everything easier.

The essentials:

2-3 reference photos saved on your phone (not bookmarked in some app you cannot find in the moment)
A photo of what you do NOT want if you have one
An honest sense of your daily routine — how much time you will actually spend styling

One important note on reference photos: your hair type, texture, density, and growth patterns are unique to you. A great barber will look at your reference and translate it to work with your specific hair. Trust that process. The goal is not a carbon copy — it is the right version of that look for you.

Book Your Cut

The Consultation

Here is something that surprises a lot of guys: when your barber asks questions, that is a good sign. It means they care about getting it right. A barber who just starts cutting without asking anything? That should make you more nervous than the conversation itself.

Common Questions Your Barber Will Ask

"How short are we going on the sides?" This is where knowing your clipper guard numbers helps. If you are not sure, check out our complete clipper guard guide. Otherwise, just say "shorter than it is now" or "I want to see some skin" or "not too tight" — your barber will work from there.

"Fade or taper?" These are different techniques and they create different looks. A fade blends down to the skin. A taper gradually shortens but stays longer. Not sure which one you want? We break it down in our taper vs. fade guide. Or just ask your barber to show you the difference — they will be happy to explain.

"How much length are we keeping on top?" Think in inches or finger-widths if you can. If not, use your reference photo to point out the length you like.

"How do you usually style it?" Be honest. If you do not use product, say so. If you blow-dry it every morning, say that too. This changes what cut will work best for you.

"How often do you get a cut?" A cut designed for every-two-week visits looks different from one built to last six weeks. Your barber will factor in grow-out.

You Do Not Need All the Answers

You do not need to walk in with a technical breakdown of exactly what you want. That is what your barber is for. What helps is having a general direction — even something as simple as "I want something cleaner and more put-together than what I have now." Your barber can take that and run with it.

Key Phrases That Actually Help

If you are not sure what to say, start with any of these. They give your barber specific, actionable information without requiring you to know industry jargon.

For length: - "I want to keep about two inches on top." - "Take off about half of what is there." - "I want it short enough that I do not have to style it."

For the sides and back: - "I like the fade in this photo." (show the photo) - "I want a taper — not down to the skin." - "Blend the sides into the top so there is no hard line."

For overall style: - "I want something low-maintenance." - "I have about five minutes to style in the morning." - "I like a textured, messy look — not slicked back."

For honesty: - "I am not sure what works with my hair type. What do you think?" - "I tried this style before and it did not work. Can we figure out why?" - "I want to try something different but nothing too drastic."

For more on describing specific styles, check out our guide on how to describe the haircut you want.

It Is Okay to Say "I Don't Know"

This might be the most important section in this entire article.

You do not have to know what you want. Plenty of guys sit down in the chair and say, "I honestly do not know what would look good. What do you think?" And that is a completely valid way to start.

Your barber cuts hair every single day. They study face shapes, hair textures, growth patterns, and trends. They can look at your hair and your face and give you an informed recommendation. That is literally their job, and a good barber loves doing it.

Here are some questions you can ask your barber if you are not sure:

"What would you recommend for my face shape?"
"What styles work best with my hair texture?"
"What is low-maintenance but still looks sharp?"
"What is popular right now that might work for me?"
"If this were your hair, what would you do?"

At Sacred Barbers, our 54+ independent artists bring different perspectives and specialties. Every one of them knows how to guide a consultation and help you land on something you will feel great about.

Book a Consultation With One of Our Barbers

During the Cut

The conversation does not stop once the clippers start. In fact, speaking up during the cut is just as important as the consultation.

Speak Up Early

If something does not look right or feel right, say something immediately. Do not wait until the end and hope it fixes itself. Your barber would much rather make an adjustment mid-cut than find out you are unhappy after the cape comes off.

A few ways to speak up without making it awkward:

"Can we go a little shorter on the sides?"
"I think I want the part a little more to the left."
"That is looking great — can we keep the top right where it is?"

None of these are rude. None of them are difficult to hear. Your barber wants this feedback. It is how they dial in your cut.

Ask About Products

Your barber is a goldmine of knowledge when it comes to styling products. If you are using the wrong product — or no product at all — ask what they would recommend. Most barbers are happy to show you how to style your new cut before you leave the chair.

Questions like "What product would hold this in place?" or "How would I recreate this look at home?" are always welcome.

Pay Attention

Watch what your barber is doing. Notice how they style it at the end. This is a free tutorial on how to maintain your look between visits. If you do not understand something they did, ask. "How did you get it to do that?" is one of the best questions you can ask.

Building a Relationship With Your Barber

Here is where the long game pays off.

Stick With One Barber

When you find a barber whose work you like, keep booking with them. Every visit, they learn more about your hair — how it grows, where it is thicker, what techniques work best for you. Over time, the consultation gets shorter because they already know.

Eventually, you get to the best place in barbershop communication: "The usual." Two words. No anxiety. Just a barber who already knows exactly what you need.

Consistency Builds Trust

The more your barber knows you, the more comfortable you will be telling them things like, "I want to try something new." That trust goes both ways. They will also start making suggestions because they know your taste and your limits.

This is the relationship that turns a haircut into an experience. It is why guys drive past a dozen other shops to get to their barber.

Be a Regular

Try to get on a schedule. Every two to four weeks works for most guys, depending on your style. Regular visits keep your cut looking sharp and give your barber a consistent canvas to work with.

Find Your Location and Book Your Next Visit

Sacred Barbers Locations:

Arden — 620 Watt Ave, Sacramento

Marconi — 4301 Marconi Ave, Sacramento

East Sac — 4736 J St, Sacramento

Fair Oaks — 8525 Madison Ave, Fair Oaks

Granite Bay — 6879 Douglas Blvd, Granite Bay

Elk Grove — 8246 Laguna Blvd, Elk Grove

The Bottom Line

Talking to your barber does not have to be stressful. Save a few photos. Think about what you like and what you do not. Be honest about your lifestyle. And if you are not sure about something, just say so.

The truth is, communication gets easier every time. Your first visit might take a little more conversation. Your fifth visit? You will barely need to say a word. And by your tenth visit, your barber will be halfway through your cut before you finish telling them about your weekend.

That is the goal. Not just a great haircut — but a barber who knows you and a chair that feels like yours.

At Sacred Barbers, we have 54+ independent artists across six Sacramento-area locations. Every one of them is here to listen, consult, and deliver. No judgment. No pressure. Just precision cuts and real conversation.